Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
