I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
