Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
