maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
