I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
