Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
