i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
