ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
