I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
