ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
