Non-Jews are for practice
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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