The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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