How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
