We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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