when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
