Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
