how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
