dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They took my balls.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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