Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
