im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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