walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
