I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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