I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
they're like a gay fantastic four
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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