he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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