Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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