So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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