I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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