Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
