Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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