If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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