It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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