but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
