Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
