u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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