She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my being single is dangerous.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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