I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
