Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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