so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
