At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
