i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
