no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
