You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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