Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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