Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
