He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
