will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
