Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
