Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
