David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
