i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
