Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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