Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
