just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
