He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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