He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
