the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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