Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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