Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
